judgement is an invention - and it might be ruining your life

let me be really honest, the "it might be ruining your life" is a lie.

It does ruin your life. 100 %. (But it might not be the ONLY thing ruining your life, so we can't give it full credit)

Anyways... judgement is in it's nature (even though it's not that natural) designed to create a separation. The top three ones we use nowadays are probably

1. right vs. wrong

2. good vs. bad/evil

3. beautiful vs. ugly

and all the variations of those fitted to any individual case of people doing and being pretty much anything....

I mean really, there is a huge amount of people teaching you to breathe "right"... to eat "right"....

even the most basic life functions are judged.

Now, if we were a cake, a whole damn pie, whatever flavor you like...., if I'd want that cake to have a right and a wrong part, I'd have to cut it in half and then define which side is which...

I know that's maybe a bit too simplified, but that's what you do with everything you judge. You cut it off and say "that part is good" "that part is bad" and we have as a culture become obsessed with naming things "good, beautiful" even if we don't think they are, because we don't want to be judgy.... umm.. what?

first of all, if you see something ugly and then you call it beautiful, cause you don't want to be the b¡tch who called it ugly, you're a liar, and you still judged it. We've all done that, because we've confused being non-judgmental with being "good"....

So we lie our ways into being a "good" person, a "nice" person, who only says "nice" things, even when something is extremely grotesque, strange, damaging, whatever. We see that, we judge it, and then we say something positive, so we don't sound judgy..... (again.., what the ??)

In that case, why not just be the kind of judgy you really are? Why not be honest at least? We could learn a thing or two about ourselves, if we dared to look at what we actually judge. And sooner or later we would probably stop that, cause we'd realize, that is says more about us, than anyone else.

Cause what really happens inside of us is separation, we make a cut so that we can't ever be that thing we judge (in others or ourselves, it doesn't make such a difference). But all of that is just a construct in our mind, cause most of the time, it is something we already are, that we're trying to cut off - for reasons that are just as invented as the judgement itself.

if you'd look at everything without judgement, you'd see a looooot of whole cakes. that's it... there wouldn't be a bunch of serial ki¡¡ers on the loose, everyone would just be the whole cake they are. and probably most people would be too busy being happy with themselves, to hurt anyone else.. so the whole "there needs to be a right and wrong, otherwise things would go to he¡¡" is also just an invention...

or "I have to judge myself, otherwise I'd just start doing what I like" yeah, that sounds terrible doesn't it???

maybe even "but, if I don't judge myself or others, we'd all just get along in peace....?" really?

judgement is a part of our culture that keeps everyone away from each other and also everyone away from themselves. there is so much you can't be, because the common opinion says that's bad (and by now we have so many people and different groups, that there is many different common opinions, so whatever you'd like to be judged as bad for, you'll find someone who'll do it). and then there is a lot of common opinions about what's good, and we all wanna be that! (but for sure, what one group sees as good, another sees as bad)

the thing is, if you stick to judgement, you always lose. even with the positive sides of it.

in the end you're a cake that's torn and ripped in pieces, that you keep trying to slam together to at least look like you've got it all under control... how's that working out for you?

maybe there's a different way?

what if YOU stopped judging you?

also in the moments you catch yourself judging. (cause that can be quite a loop, too)

what would happen if you tried that for just an hour? (or 10 minutes?)

every judgement that comes up (and they are not just negative!!) you say to yourself: no thank you, I like my cake whole.

And if you're more into judging others than yourself, do the same, when you notice a judgement about others coming up. "no thank you, I'd like to keep that cake whole."

judging the world, your life, anything...." no thank you, I'll have the whole damn cake today."

and then see what opens up.

maybe you suddenly get to enjoy something you never dared to enjoy. (without having to justify it with a post on insta that demands positive reactions)

or maybe you realize that you're whole life was built on avoiding negative judgements of others (which is inevitable anyways)

or your entire life was built on avoiding your own judgement? (are they really yours, though?)

whatever you notice, it might bring you a bit closer to you as a full cake, not a plate of crumbles that you keep trying to reframe in the most beautiful way.

and isn't that what finally makes your life come together? that YOU get to be the whole YOU?

and what if you made that choice to allow that for YOU?

may the world keep cutting cake, YOU will have the full one.

And you'll get judged for that, obviously, BUT the ultimate cut is always yours. So if you don't cut the cake, just because the masses scream at you to do it, you stay whole.

They can all come at you with knifes of all kinds,

as long as you choose to be a whole cake, they can just fantasize about cutting it.

They can try to hand you their knives and show you how it's done, as long as you don't cut it, it can't be cut.

As a whole cake you're very vulnerable (everyone can see you're whole) and that makes you invincible.

Because you know that your wholeness is yours and it is created by choice.

What everyone else is doing, doesn't matter. Literally, it does not turn into a matter of your life, if you keep focusing on your whole cake.

I'm aware that writing this as a theory, is far easier than practicing it.

So please, don't take it as an invitation to judge yourself, when you're not having a whole cake day.

The practice works the same way on a smashed cake day.

That's where you build strength - choosing a whole cake, when it's all crumbled and messy, that's investing in yourself, energetically. And it will show.